6 Years and counting

Tomorrow is our 6year wedding anniversary. And last week marked 7years together.
I cannot believe how fast it has gone but six years has taught us many things here are a few:

• Having kids so close in age together is hard work
• And yes - we would do it all over again - having them so close together
• 2 stubborn people make for very interesting arguments/disagreements
• Supporting each other through all of life's ups and downs is what it's all about
• In law issues are not fun things to figure out nor easy to discuss without someones feelings getting hurt
• Weight gain creeps up and is even harder to shed - but we are shedding, woohoo!
• Compromise & Grace go hand in hand
• Cliche as it sounds - not going to bed angry has saved us from many bad mornings
• God, Spouse, Children, Job is the way it should be and switching that order in anyway can sure mess things up
• Finding the one person you can laugh and cry with makes all the difference
• Those irritating little habits (IE scrunched up socks, leaving things lying around) are still irritating habits 6yrs later
• Once a blanket hog, always a blanket hog (this is me, not Bill)
• House projects are not fun to do together
• Honey-to-do lists are just that - Honey-to-do lists
• Life is busy
• Date nights are very important!

Who knew that 7years ago responding to that Match.com message would lead me to the man of my dreams and prayers. The man that each and every day loves me more than I deserve and tells me everyday how Beautiful I am. He truly is the most Amazing man & I am so Blessed to call him my husband.

I love you Bill and am so proud to be married to you. Here's to many, many more years of wedded bliss/fun.

Mothers Day

This past weekend was Mothers Day.  It started off with breakfast in bed, nice start for sure. But just as quickly as it appeared Bill was running out the door to work leaving me on my  Mothers Day with the kids.

I managed to get us to church 15minutes just a tad late but none the less to church.

Then because it was my Mothers Day I had already decided the kids and I were going to do something but going home to sit for the day wasn't an option. So we headed to lunch at my favorite breakfast place, Patty's Eggnest. The wait was forever and trying to wrangle 3 hungry kids by myself was joyous. I will not lie I found myself wondering "what were you thinking?"  But eventually the waitress either took pity on me or wanted the crazy children to stop playing peek-a-boo in the windows and seated us. (Need to remember to show her Norwex cleaning cloths for the windows next time)


After a spilled water, spilled syrup & lunch was eaten we left the restaurant & headed for Mukilteo Beach with a a few other thousand or so moms there with their families!  It was crowded and I had to circle 2x before I spotted a man walking to his car. I did NOT proceed to wait for 6minutes on him with my blinker on, holding up traffic & I did NOT yell speak very loudly at Ellia "Have patience, he is going to leave and we are waiting until he does" when she said "Mom, he's not leaving can we just drive around again?" I would never yell on my Mothers Day.

We finally got our spot and headed to the beach. It was a lovely afternoon of playing in the sand, throwing rocks in the water, climbing on the playground & then a trip down to Ivar's for ice cream cones. Afterwards we headed home to relax on the couch with some snuggle time.

It may have been Mothers Day and it may have been more like a normal day for us. BUT it was MY day, we had a great time and we were together having fun. And as I sat there watching my 3 beautiful babies play in the water I realized how truly lucky I am.

I have 3 beautiful, healthy & loving children. Whom I prayed many years for. And I celebrated Mothers Day with them being a Mother. What better way to spend my day?

"Not this time around"

Saying "No" and "Not this time around" have never felt so good!

Seriously, I thought this setting down boundaries thing was going to be hard, that I was going to struggle and give in eventually. (and this could still happen)  However, this past week I have on two different occasions gotten to say "No" and "Not this time around" and I felt free, liberated and wait for it....... not guilty!

I realizing that my family & myself are what is the most important. For too long I have sacrificed these things and it has led to some unfortunate situations. But no more.

Yesterday, I did not accept the packet for MOPS leadership. I am not going to return to leadership next year. And maybe not even MOPS. That is undecided right now still but if I do I cannot do leadership. And after I said "Not this time around" I walked away with a little skip in my step. It was easier to say this than I thought. I did not feel all tied up in knots, guilty or sad.  Dare I say I felt Happy??

What made a huge difference was my friend overheard my decision and said something along the lines as "That is Awesome, I am so proud of you for making this decision & putting your family first" And coming from her this meant a lot.

I feel like I am in a good spot in life for the first time in who knows how long. I feel healthy. Can you feel healthy?  All I know is that emotionally, physically & spiritually I feel strong & healthy. I feel like I have a little pep in my step. I wake up looking forward to the day not dreading it's arrival.

Bring on the "No thanks", "Not this time around" and the "Sorry we cannot" things because I am feeling liberated & ready to face you.

Rabbit trails and boundaries

Today, is Tuesday and so it's counseling day in our house. My in-laws come over to wrangle watch the kiddos and I head out the door for a peaceful drive with latte in hand to see Terri.  Terri, is an amazing woman who I am learning so much from. She has been through a lot of things in her life & she brings her school knowledge/degree and life experiences into our sessions.  In 8 short weeks she has made me come to see & face some things in life that I have never seen before.

What amazes me the most is how she can ask me "how was your weekend?" and from this question we rabbit trail onto several things to talk. One question opens up many things that reveal who I am deep to the core. And from there the therapy begins.

Today while discussing my "weekend" we went onto the path of boundaries. What are boundaries, why do they exist and then came the statement

"You do not have boundaries in your life, I don't think you ever have and therefore you don't know how to create healthy ones"

Websters Definition  of Boundary  =  something that indicates bounds  or limits; a limiting or bounding line.  

I do not create boundaries with myself or anyone. This could be one of the many reasons I am overweight. (she did not say that I am) She went onto say that a boundary protects me and my value as a person. And when this boundary is crossed I get hurt or my family gets hurt - which happens far to often.

When you don't establish a boundary you can get taken advantage of, beat up, worn down & hurt. What I tend to do is say "Yes'" to everything and everyone in order to please them. See I am a natural people pleaser. I am most happy when everyone around me is happy. And in order to make everyone happy I have to somehow help. I help so that I don't look bad, feel bad or feel guilty. All of which are wrong.
So I help by taking on other's issue/problem, setting a place at my table for it & serving it dinner. Which then it tends to stay for awhile because I am such a good host and thus my family begins to suffer. But I don't know how to then say "NO" and kick the issue/problem/person to the curb and I then begin to get frustrated and this vicious cycle starts. Me frustrated/angry, my husband frustrated, kids spiraling out of control & our life turns into a whirlwind. Once everything is back to normal I invite the next issue/problem/person or a big one for me, Activity (I tend to overbook) into our lives and the cycle repeats.


My homework, what homework in therapy?  for the week is to start establishing boundaries, start saying "No" and not feeling guilty when I do.  Can I do this?  My husband says yes and he will help me. 


How are the boundaries in your life?  Do you have any? If you don't why not start establishing them this week alongside me.  

Therapeutic, really?

I recently began going to counseling and it's something I have never done before. After many years of trying to be perfect, shove all my emotions down & an underlying rage I finally took the BIG step in this direction - the counselors office. I have a very supportive husband who I am sure was grateful to have a wife finally admit she had some real issues that she needed to deal with. Would you be surprised that I am finding each session to be - hold on to it -  Therapeutic - Who knew?? (insert a chuckle)

At first I was so nervous  and had so many questions:
-would she be nice? - for sure
-would she go all Psycho babble on me? - not really
-would she ask me all about Team D? - yep
-would she ask me about my whole family? - yep
-would I cry? - yep sure did
-would I get angry? - not yet, but with me there's no telling
-would I keep going? - at first the only reason I did go was b/c the Coach drove me but now each week it's kinda of nice.

Tuesday is coming & I am looking forward to it,

The Hurt & the Healer

The question that is never far away
The healing doesn't come from the explained
Jesus please don't let this go in vain
You're all I have
All that remains

So here I am
What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I've fallen into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

Breathe
Sometimes I feel it's all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through

So here I am
What's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I've fallen into your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

It's the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all the scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say "It's over now"

I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I've fallen into your arms open wide
When The hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the healer collide [x2]

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here.

words by Mercy Me

Who Knew?

On New Years Eve 2011 Bill and I sat and made goals for 2012 for ourselves, our marriage & our family. Who knew that God was truly listening & then laughed at us. 

I decided that night that I needed to make myself a priority. And I nievlely thought it meant health wise & joined Weight Watchers the next week. I also began getting up at the butt crack of dawn to spend time with the Lord. Having a quiet time had been put to the bottom of my list of responsibilities. But little did I know that night that God was laughing at me, "ohh, my precious child do I have plans for you" - Yep, that's what God must have been saying that night.

Our first goal for our marriage was to start the Real Marriage series by Mark & Grace Driscoll - the pastors of our church Mars Hill. We started the series, joined a community group to dive deeper into the book study & began the process of also really getting to know other couples at church. This series has been Awesome! It has stretched me more in the last 2months than ever before. I have had to come to some hard realizations about myself, about my marriage and our children. I also can say that today, I feel closer to my husband than I have EVER felt!  This series although hard has been just what the Lord wanted for us. 

In the last few weeks we have had to come face to face with some things in our home, marriage & personal life that we never thought we would have to. It is still very fresh & raw for me even as I type. But I know that to be refined by the Refiners fire means some pain & hurt.  But on the other side of this refining lays a life of beauty & grace free of shame & hurt and I cannot wait to get there!

As I sit here at the computer so many things swirl in my head. Really? Really I haven't blogged since last Oct?  Where have I been? What have I been up too?

Being a wife & mommy that's what. Life has been crazy but good.

During that time throw in sickness, a surgery, holidays, snow days, Norwex shows & lets not forget Weight Watchers. And all those things are great but all of those things have kept me from here. I check in and read blogs from time to time but even that has fallen behind. Oh, and lets not forget that during that time Blogger changed how they do things & so when I did decide to finally sit down and blog I couldnt figure out how to do it. I am still on the old version & will have to have my hubby help me this weekend. And I know I've said it before but I am Back!  I need this blog, I need this creative outlet & I need to feel like my voice is being heard out there.  So seriously I am back.

Through a child's eyes

We recently got back from a fantastic trip, we went to Florida to see family & spent 5 fabulous days in Disney World! To say the girls were excited is an understatment. They did not go to sleep the first night we arrived till after 12:30 because they knew the next day we were going to see Mickey Mouse.

Now, I have been to DW many times - living in Florida has it's advantages. This was my husbands and our children's first visit. And can I just tell you he was just as excited as they were.

The BEST part of Disney World was watching my children's faces and experiencing Disney through them. I just cannot explain how that made me smile. Someone told me today "it might not have been the best age for them, but it was the best age for you" And she was soooo right, to see them experience it with such enthusiasm and amazement. The twinkle in their eyes and smiles on their faces was priceless. In the words of Addie "this is Awesome".

And as I finish this post I keep thinking of what a dear woman said to me on the plane ride home.

"Dear, this is the Best time of your life. You will miss this time, trust me. Right, now these sweethearts have your feet, but in 20 years they will have your heart"

She went onto explain how right now I am busy running all over taking care of them...."they have my feet" but in 20 years you will not be able to help them because they will be adults and wont want your help. But "they will have your heart", your heart will ache as they make choices and decisions and your love will expand more than you know.

Wow!!! Words to remember forever. I will do my best to enjoy this time, to remember this time & treasure these years.

It's been awhile, lets play catch up.

Blogging used to be an out for me to share my feelings, ideas and life. But lately life has taken over. Life is good but crazy busy. The kids are growing like weeds. E is almost 4, A almost 3 and M 16months old. My babies are growing up right before my eyes. I love them all so much and am so grateful the Lord blessed us with each of them. But life is busy for sure!

I am still trying to be a wife, mom & business woman. And recently added runner to the mix. I used to run before the kids & before I met my husband and I enjoyed it. So I decided enough is enough it's time to shed this baby weight and what better way than to start running. And thus my running career has started up again.

I was sidelined with an injury right away that I tried to self diagnosis with help of the internet. Gotta love google! However, after many weeks of walking on pins & needles I broke down and visited the podiatrist. What a life saver he is!! I actually told him I wanted to "kiss him" because I walked out of his office with a fully taped up foot but no pain.

Fast forward 4 weeks and I have now bought a good pair of running shoes, orthodics and am 75% better. Enough that today I went running with some friends. We did 2.67 miles and it felt good. I have been running on my treadmill and let me tell you running outside HUGE difference! And pushing a baby stroller - NOT a jogging stroller also makes the running more difficult. But I finished & I feel good.

I signed up for my first 5K since well before kids & as of today have gotten 5 friends to run it with me!! And get this 4 out of 5 of them have never run before and it will be their first 5K, how exciting is that?

So all this to tell you, I am back and really truly hope to be back blogging more regularily again.

Life & musings by the Team Manager

Today the movie Tangled came out on DVD. The girls were so excited to go to the store and buy it bright & early this morning. And due to my fabulous coupon deal we got some popcorn, water and Tangled cup for free! I did have to buy an extra cup because 1 cup for two little girls is like grounding out at 1st base - not a good thing.

So as I speak we are baking our pizza in the oven & gearing up to sit & watch the movie. They keep asking is it almost pizza picnic time? We do pizza picnics in our house 1x a month. Spread out a blanket on the floor, eat pizza & watch a movie. The girls love it and it's a fun family time.






Other than that life is busy, busy, busy in Team D's dugout. We are gearing up for spring training by packing ourselves full of activities or "actibities" as Elle likes to call them. The girls are taking a music class, storytime class & now a team sports class the the YMCA up the street. They are loving the classes & it's so much fun to hear them singing the songs from class during the week.

And as for our smallest team member he is gearing up to walk. I find him often pushing around the girls pink grocery cart. Today it was the chair in the hallway outside Ballet class. Guess, it's time we got him a walking toy of his own.

"I didn't want to be a mother"

I have been pondering this post for about a week now. And since it's my blog I am going to do a Rant. Last week I watched the Today show and saw a woman who just walked away from her kids. "Along the way I had lost myself" and she wrote a book telling how/why she did it.

Rahna Reiko Rizzuto was on the Today show sharing about how she walked away from her family after 20years of marriage & two young children. Her reasoning?
"I had lost myself along the way" and "I realized I didn't really want to be a mother". Really??? I found myself saying outloud to the tv... "Then why did you have children?"

I watched the interview in utter amazement & then disgust. Because this woman I felt was glamorizing the fact that she left her children. She actually said things like "I am a much better mother now", "I pay more attention to them in that 5-6hr block of time because I am not on the computer, out with girlfriends" Really?? T"hen why did you have children?"

I have to wonder then why did you have kids? They were married for 15yrs before they had their 1st son. That tells me that most likely were lots of discussion into having kids. She says "motherhood wasn't what she thought it would be" - No S*%t sherlock, sorry!

Is motherhood what I thought it would be? Honestly, yes. That said there are days that I want to run & hide. But the good days & those special moments out weigh those bad ones. Would I walk away from my kids? Would I decide that I needed to find myself and in order to do that I needed to leave my kids? NO!

I think it boils down to this .............. selfishness. This woman is selfish. And that is really sad. Sad, for her children. When you get married & when you have children you become selfless. You give of yourself because you love those people. And I would never walk away from my children because I need to "find myself". However, I am known to go on scrapbooking weekends, pedicures, latte dates ect to get a little "Me" time.


This is a book I will NOT be buying that's for sure.

The post in which I talk about snot too much

Today, I am officially back. I know, I know I've said it before & even blogged about being back. But really I am, I feel so lonely without my blog, does that make sense? I still blog hop all the time, there are several that I read weekly. ie... Kellys Corner, The Finish line Diaries, MckMama, Mad Boastings of a Cheapskate mom, I'm a Baker and many more. But after a loooong hiatus I am back. I am sure my mother will be very happy.

It seems like the last few months we've been sick, sick, sick. Even as I type this latest blog the kids are all sick. In fact today I took Ellia and Micah to doctor, where they were pronounced with ear infections and sinus infection.

The last 6 days have been a struggle for me. A struggle because when the kids get sick who do they want?? You guessed it, Mama. And that would be okay if I didn't have 3 children, a house, a husband, a dog and a business to run all of which need my attention too. And of all things I dislike, snotty noses I dislike the MOST. I don't know why, but that oozy, gooey, slimy crap that drains from those two potholes we call nostrils drives me crazy! Never have and never will be a snot fan. Which in the last 6 days I have had to deal with a ton. I mean we could probably have filled two sippy cups with that crap this past week....and I am not kidding either.

However, I did not start blogging again to talk about my dislike of snot. No, I started blogging again because I have much that has been stirring inside of me. Much that I want to put out there. For who you ask? I know most of my friends/followers have stopped reading or rather checking in. No, I am starting back up for me.... This is afterall my blog where I vent, rant, share my thoughts, share my kid stories & show off my beautiful family. But it is also my therapy. And cheap therapy is always a good thing.


This week my mother inlaw told me "this is the time for which you were called to be a mother", meaning not just in the good times, but in the bad, sickness & in health. Just like my wedding vows. Yes, my kids are sick. Yes, they are whiny. Yes, they are snotty messes. Yes, they are at times driving me crazy all being sick & I feel like it will never end. Yes, I have raised the white flag and am screaming....I surrender!

BUT

They are sick, they are whiny, they are snotty messes and you know what, they need Mama. And when you are sick Mama is the only one you want. And they will only be this little for a short period. Will I be able to rock them, rub their backs, wipe their snotty noses, whisper "I love you" into their ears & just cuddle them close when they are 15 and sick? I think not.

So as much as I want to run, hide & just give up I push through. I push through the tiredness of late nights, I push through all the snot, I push through the whiny voices & hold onto the fact that I am their one and only Mama. And this is what I prayed for, this is what I hoped for - in sickness and health.

Long time no see

Wow, it has been well over a month since I last posted. You'd think I was busy or something. Nooo, way, not me.

I started selling Norwex, had 7parties in the last month - n - half and then you throw in some Thanksgiving travels & dinner and now Christmas is upon us, boy it's been a long time.

But I'm back & ready to do some blogging. Now for some catch up with the kids:

-Mr. Micah is now almost 8months old. He is sitting up on his own, seriously teething all though I cannot see any of those little suckers, eating solids like their going out of style & last week discovered he can screetch very loudly & loves to do it all day long. Ohh my ears!

-Miss Ellia had her last ballet class this week and will have her recitial tonight. She is doing well trying to learn her letters by sight & trying hard to learn to write them too.

- Miss Addie is a ball of energy still, loves her mommy time, loves to play barbies, can count to 13, know's her ABC's and loves to do ballet with big sister.

They are all growing like weeds and I just dont know where the time has gone. I try to cherish every moment but sometimes in the rush of the day I forget to. They are the light of my life & I cannot imagine not being a stay at home mommy.

Pictures from decorating our tree, visiting Santa & recitial to follow in the next few days.

Contest entry

Over at i am a mommy you can enter a contest to win $500. So I am trying it out. She has an awesome blog on being a mommy and another one on baking. I warn you her blog on baking, i am baker is addicting!

Who are you inviting in?

This past weekend I attended our MOPS leadership retreat. And it was an awesome time of getting to know some amazing women. It also made me really begin to analyze & think of how lucky I am to be a mom and how much my children mean to me.

I am going to admit something - I fail every day at being a mom and I fail at being a good wife.
I get too consumed with how my house looks, if it's clean enough, too much time on the computer, on the phone, cooking the best healthy & tasty meals, how many calories I've eaten that day and other mindless things. And what suffers are my husband and children.

I do not spend enough time snuggling on the couch, reading to them, coloring with them and other fun things. And soon enough they are going to be older & I will wish I had this time back. I am going to wish they would snuggle with me or let me read them a story.

And when Bill calls home, he is not greeted with a sweet "hi honey, how is your day" he is often greeted with "When are you coming home?".

In analyzing my life I found a common thread - who am I inviting into our home daily?

I also recognize that I am trying to do be the BEST mom/wife and I am trying to do it alone. And I cannot do it alone, I need Jesus to help me. I need him each and every day! I notice our day is so much smoother when I have had some quiet time with the Lord. He is in our home daily, but when I take the time to invite him, prepare the way for him to come, our day is so much better.

Lord, be with me as I surrender my home, husband and children over to you. Please help me to see them through your eyes. Help me to be the peacemaker you've called me to be. Help me to focus more on them & less on me & my needs. Let me put my kingdom & my needs/wants behind me and focus on what you would have me to focus on.

Happy Birthday Addie

It's a little late and I'm sorry, it's not cause you're the 2nd child I promise!! It's because this weekend we got so busy buying.......our mini van..... that we weren't home much. But dont fret cause you are the only one of my childrens birth that I have ever blogged about & it took 4 posts... post 1, post 2, post 3 and post 4.

Christmas 2009

1st birthday cake

Adilynn you turned 2 on Sat and with it we were reminded how much you complete our family. You were our little surprise pregnancy but ooooh so worth it. Never mind that I cried for like 2 weeks straight when that test read positive, or that my pregnancy with you was emotionally the hardest or that you had colic till you were 6months old. You have been worth every single minute!! We cannot imagine our family without you.

You are such a delight. Every day your little voice lifts my spirits and makes me smile. Dressing up is one of your favorite things to do right now. You come up with some crazy outfits that just make me laugh. And make me take pictures.

You love and adore your big sister and are always wanting to be with her. And there is no question you love your little brother as you are always trying to make him laugh. "Bro Bro - Boo".

You can take a beating and keep on going. You are so strong & tough. You know what you want and you go after it, so determined. You are stubborn, probably our most stubborn child but that will do you good later in life, at least that's what I tell myself.

I love hearing you sing "Jesus wuvs me" or "ring around the posies"
And

When I get you out of your crib each morning it's the same thing ....

"Hi Mama, I wake up"


Dont even get me started at how cute you are when you run or when you do your "BBQ" dance....ooh my gosh, adorable.


You bring so much joy, laughter & fun into our home. I cannot imagine life without our little surprise...you were worth all those tears and more.

Happy Belated Birthday baby girl.....Mama loves you!

Happy Birthday Ellia

Tomorrow is Oct 1st and my sweet, baby girl turns 3years old. Three years ago I became a mommy for the first time and I haven't looked back.

On October 1st, 2007 at 4:12pm Miss Ellia Lorraine was born.

Ellia Lorraine you bring so much joy & excitement to our lives. Three years ago when labor started we knew you were on your way into our lives but we didn't know then how much of our heart you would fill up. You taught us how to be a mommy and daddy. When you were born we grew up & learned what real sacrifice means.

Your love of music & dance keeps us smiling and on our toes. Your ballet teacher says that you have a smile on your face the entire time and that she can tell you are excited to be there. You are always making up new songs & dancing around the house. Entertaining should have been your middle name.

You are always saying "I a big girl and I help you". You love to help me in the kitchen and always want to sit on the counter to help. And lets not even get started on how much you actually like to help sweep the floors or dust. You are always ready and willing to help out with a huge smile on your face.

You love your siblings and are very protective of them. In Sunday school you are known to put your arm around Addie when she is crying. Whenever you receive something you make sure that Addie gets one too. It is not unusual to hear you saying to Micah "it's okay buddy" when he is crying. Or help pat his back when he needs to be burped.

You are our most sensitive child and sometimes nurturing that is hard for me. But at the same time we know that this will serve you well later in life. Your ability to comfort others comes from your sensitivity and is truly a gift.

We love you sweet girl
Happy Birthday!!!

Parenting Conference rewind - post #1

This past weekend Bill and I attended a parenting conference hosted by our church Mars Hill. The speaker was Paul Trip and he was Aaaaamazing! I cannot say enough good things.

We didn't know what to expect and were blown away by this man. First, let me tell you he was a phenomenal speaker. So funny and entertaining. He kept us laughing but at the same time engaged to what he was saying. To put it better, he had us eating out of the palm of his hand.

Paul Tripp has written a ton of books on parenting, marriage, devotionals and many more. I encourage you to visit his site to see his books.

I am going to try to sum up some of the BEST parts of the conference. On Friday night he spoke just on parenting & getting to the "heart" of the matter. On Saturday he addressed specific age groups 0-5, 6-12 and teenagers. And let me tell you we learned things for all three age groups.

The first & most important thing we learned was:

Parenting is not about controlling & regulating behavior, it's about the Heart. The thoughts and motives of the heart shape the way a child responds.

- As a parent you are the "seer" - you were made to be the eyes for your child, what is it that God wants our children to see that he/she is not seeing? And how can I help them see it?

- God designed the family unit to be the primary learning community for our children and we mustn't be too busy to teach our children. Nor can we depend solely on the church to raise our children as the church wasn't designed to to replace us but to equip us.

Family is Designed to be:
1. Theological Community - teaching our children to live with an awareness of God. Our job is to point them towards God everyday. We need to root their identity in the character and existence of God.

"There is no knowing without knowing God" - John Calvin

2. Sociological Community - we were designed to love the Lord and to love our neighbor. The struggle to love exposes the real heart of a person. And you cannot teach it unless you understand & practice it yourself. Whether you realize it or not your family unit is teaching your children how to live within their community. What are you teaching them about their community?

"Teaching love, takes love and Teaching love takes sacrifice" - Paul Tripp

3. Redemptive Community - We need to live a life where grace, forgiveness, deliverance from sin, reconciliation and life in Christ are a central part of our family on a daily basis. Need to teach our children that we too are sinners and be honest with them. Let our faults be seen too.


- Life is about moments, lots and lots of moments. And it's in these moments that we shape our children's hearts. There will be lots of these moments but we must be willing to act on them.

"You cannot have $100 conversations in .10$moments" - Paul Tripp

We learned 5 questions to ask your child when they have disobeyed. These questions will lead them to Christ & talking them out will help our children to change their heart. (And in the moments it takes to ask these questions I will have the time to calm down)

1. What was going on?

2. What were you thinking & feeling as it happened? (This causes them to look at their heart)

3. What did you do in response? - the behavior is formed after the heart reacted

4. Why did you do it? What were you seeking to accomplish with this behavior? - this follows the motive

5. What was the result?

He said he started this line of questioning when disciplining when his youngest was 2yrs old. And the fact of the matter is that repetition is important and it's in these moments that you will be correcting/molding/shaping their heart.

We don't have the capacity to change but Jesus does. We need to expose our children to the redeemer who can change them. And how do we help our children change? We do this by changing our hearts FIRST!

4 things happen when you haven't dealt with your own heart:

1. Moments of ministry turn into moments of Anger

2. You personalize what is not Personal - you make it all about you & you miss the opportunity

3. You are adversarial in your response, becomes you against your child and you see your child as an obstacle in your way.

4. You settle for quick situational responses - these response's don't get to the heart of the matter.

Remember that as we walk out

Confession
Repentance

that our children are watching & learning. And we were designed to be their teachers.

Fall has arrived

Fall has arrived......WooooHooo!!

Time for schedules, ballet classes, MOPS, pre-school activities for Ellia, falling leaves, cozy fires in the fireplace, falling leaves and comfort foods. I love Fall!!

As I type this I am laid up in bed with my right leg propped up on pillows. This past weekend as I walked across a field to the bathroom at a family reunion I fell in a hole. Yep, a hole in the grass got the best of me and sent me crumbling to my knees. After a visit to the walk in clinic I was sent home with a sexy black boot & crutches. My boot & I have become fast friends and will be together for at least 2 weeks. I am hoping the crutches and I can part our separate ways tomorrow.

This has been a crazy month for Team D with injuries & sickness. If I didn't know better I'd think we had ticked off the injury Gods.

I am trying to take this all in stride but it's not easy being laid up. Not easy letting your in laws & friends do the cooking, laundry & sweep/mop the floors.....or is it?? No, really sitting there as they do these things is hard for me. Because I am normally the one doing them & the first to lend a helping hand.

So till the ankle is back to normal I will try to not be cranky, I said try. And think of all the fun Fall activities that I will have waiting for me very soon.